Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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