If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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