Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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