I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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