This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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