Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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