Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
