Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
