I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
