So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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