This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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