It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
