Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
