quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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