Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
