i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
