I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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