Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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