Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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