i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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