I wish I only lived at night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
