There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is Oprah even human
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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