Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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