you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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