So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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