I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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