im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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