Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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