I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My breasts were aching with rage.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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