Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
