you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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