Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
