How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
