there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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