I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
