I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
