Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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