Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
did you just send me my own nude
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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