Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
