Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
