ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
