Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
