I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize