I'm gonna have a badass scar
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
