So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
