You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
