Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he got wood on it!

  (408): View more from California

  i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.

  (818): View more from California

  ...i was talking about hockey

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  (818): he got wood on it! (408): i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals. (818): ...i was talking about hockey http://tfl.nu/alxf
  Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (814)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.

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  (850): I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life. (1-850): Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say. http://tfl.nu/wlmq
  Replies (11) Good night (744) Bad night (1547) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...

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  (479): Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school... http://tfl.nu/5amt
  Replies (23) Good night (4777) Bad night (513)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?

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  (515): Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out? http://tfl.nu/ragd
  Replies (48) Good night (860) Bad night (1938)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.

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  (918): At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis. http://tfl.nu/wydm
  Replies (16) Good night (4390) Bad night (598)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook

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  (716): I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook http://tfl.nu/bd4f
  Replies (8) Good night (3443) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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  (250): I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower http://tfl.nu/dtnj
  Replies (14) Good night (5940) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why

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  (507): I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why http://tfl.nu/wixc
  Replies (6) Good night (2423) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.

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  (740): I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that. http://tfl.nu/4jg4
  Replies (6) Good night (2308) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be

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  (704): Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be http://tfl.nu/xbn0
  Replies (10) Good night (4672) Bad night (1231) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

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  (563): I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished. http://tfl.nu/1qri
  Replies (10) Good night (5265) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

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  (516): Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko. http://tfl.nu/dtru
  Replies (10) Good night (2440) Bad night (908)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.

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  (540): hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one. http://tfl.nu/c556
  Replies (5) Good night (1582) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

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  (217): Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit. (309): Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed? http://tfl.nu/sacc
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (365)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.

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  (248): We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management. http://tfl.nu/hzvj
  Replies (4) Good night (1165) Bad night (342)

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