Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've blown a few things in my day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
