1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE