Your face is a jimmy john
She's JV to your varsity
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.