they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
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Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Don't tell me you're on acid again