we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
