is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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