I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
