I bet he comes in French.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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