You're so nebulous sometimes
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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