I hate your face
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
