I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
