I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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