So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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