Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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