is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
