I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
