ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize