Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
